I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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