Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
