i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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