Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
