Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
