The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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