there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
