we have officially lost it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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