Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
