I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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