the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
