No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
