if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
