hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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