I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
