Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize