fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
