Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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