if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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