i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
