She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
