i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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