so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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