So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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