batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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