Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
