So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
