I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
