Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
