this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it's like heaven, but drunker
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
