when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
BRING THE BAGELS
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
