Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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