Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
