our cab driver is having phone sex.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
