I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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