I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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