get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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