You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
