Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
