I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize