hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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