it hurts more in the daytime
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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