he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just had sex on a roof
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
