four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
