So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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