I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
