At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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