Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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