Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
