And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
