We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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