Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
