Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
