I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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