What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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