I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
