i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
