i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
