I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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